When it comes to relationships, complications and challenges are to be expected as much as exhilarating triumphs and unforgettable moments. The truth of the matter is that each relationship is special.
Though your relationships with your mother or uncle may seem similar, remember that their advice on matters will only open other options for you. At the end of the day, your decisions are the only ones that matter.
As much as you might want a simple, effortless relationship with, for example, your partner, life and its circumstances are bound to make it complicated. You will no doubt be frustrated sometimes. There will be arguments, yelling, misunderstanding, and there will definitely be times when you will feel as if you no longer want to continue the relationship. However, it is important to understand that all relationships have their own set of trials, and you and your partner must work together if you truly want to overcome any challenge and settle down in a relationship that can be lasting.
Before you can begin to discover the principles that make relationships last longer and become more meaningful, you must first understand the different types of relationships. Knowing which kind of relationship you have with your family, friends, colleagues, and partner will clarify which of the principles come naturally to you and the ones you must work on together. You must also recognize which relationships no amount of work can save.
The 4 Types of Dysfunctional Relationships
1. The Dependent Relationship
This type of relationship can occur in both a familial or romantic situation. People engaged in dependent relationships often find themselves unable to function properly without their family or partner nearby. These people become increasingly stressed the farther they are from their loved ones, whether for work or other important matters. They cannot stop thinking of them, and are thus unable to focus on the present situation. They are extremely dependent on the decisions and actions of their families or partners.
2. The Controlling Relationship
This is, sadly, a common type of relationships for newlyweds or first-time romantic partners. You will also see this in families where the parents are too strict or dictatorial. As the name suggests, a controlling relationship is one where one of the partners or one of the family members assumes a powerful role. This power-role is usually expressed in commands, demands, and a refusal to negotiate.
What’s wrong with this kind of relationship? Isn’t it fine to have one of the family members or one of the partners delegate and guide the others? Indeed, in relationships there will always be one who is more inclined to leading than following. In a family, the parents are responsible for taking care of their children; it is normal for them to set rules and boundaries. However, when parents or partners assume a power-role to dictate and completely control every action, the relationship becomes unbalanced. Trust and respect are tested. In most situations, controlling relationships lead to power struggles and rebellion.
3. The Insecure Relationship
Insecure relationships often occur in the teenage years or early twenties, and can extend until the late thirties or forties. In these relationships, both partners often act comfortable with their partner’s group of friends, busy schedules and activities. Deep down though, either or both of the partners are worried the other is cheating or having more fun with their friends than they are with them. What’s wrong with this kind of relationship? Isn’t it normal to be worried about what your partner may or may not be doing behind your back? Yes, it’s normal to worry a little. It isn’t normal to obsess about what your partner may or may not be doing, thinking, or saying. It can be destructive to act fine on the surface, but underneath feel doubts and insecurities, either about yourself, your capabilities or your relationship. An insecure relationship breeds mistrust and self-doubt. Neither of these are healthy.
4. The Abusive Relationship
Abusive relationships come in different forms. They can appear in both a family setting and a romantic partnership. Although extremely rare, this kind of relationship can exist within a cordial or friendly relationship. The most common form of an abusive relationship has its roots in misdirected anger, drugs and drinking. It can also appear when a family member or partner is unable to control his or her emotions. The other partner or family members suffer from physical blows, strings of curses, or inappropriate behavior forced on them by the threat of more violence.
What’s wrong with this kind of relationship? Don’t we all lose our tempers sometimes? Aren’t we all prone to throwing fits or getting physical? Yes, we all lose our tempers and throw fits at times, but we are nevertheless able to control ourselves. It is not normal or healthy if your partner or family member consciously harms or harasses another, pleads forgiveness, and then does it again, this time with more ferocity. This kind of relationship is one that is best nipped in the bud. Do not let this relationship go on. Love yourself first, and see to it that you are always safe in any relationship you engage in.
There are more types of relationships than these four we have discussed. Psychologists could give you, at the very least, 23 different types of romantic relationships.
The four types detailed in this blog are the most common dysfunctional relationships. We will show you how to identify them with accuracy. Once you do, these relationships can be improved or strengthened if you know the seven basic principles of quality relationships.
What are these principles?
How will you know if you have them or if you need to work on them with your partner, family and friends?
Here is a list of the seven basic principles of quality relationships:
6. Praise and Appreciation
With these simple, essential principles you will be able to strengthen your relationships, grow with your loved ones, and emerge with a better understanding of one another.
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